I have a secret,
it whispers in my mind.
If you look closely,
you’ll see it in my eyes.
I have been fascinated with butterflies for the past two decades or so. They’re graceful, colorful and mysterious.
Butterflies symbolize transformation in many religious and spiritual doctrines as well as dream interpretation.
Just as I started walking down the path of metaphysical spirituality, I stumbled upon this quote. It truly spoke to my mystical side and my desire to understand what reality is, how we perceive it, and how we change it with every thought we think.
“Once upon a time, Zhuang Zhou dreamed he was a butterfly, a butterfly flitting about happily enjoying himself. He did not know that he was Zhou. Suddenly he awoke, and was palpably Zhou. He did not know whether he was Zhou, who had dreamed of being a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming that he was Zhou”
I’m not sure if this quote made me more obsessed with butterflies or simply solidified my love of them. But it certainly impacted me enough to want “My Dreaming Butterfly” for my business name. I’m so glad it was available as the URL for this website.
All my best fellow dreamers!
How did this madness happen?
I am possibly the worst Facebook friend you could be friends with. I gather friends in binges and rarely post anything apart from the occasional holiday wish and thanking all the real Facebook friends out there who wish me a happy birthday.
Except for a half-assed attempt at a MySpace page (back when it was cool, mind you) I have had no online presence. No Twitter, No Foursquare. No Pinterest. Nada. Zilch. Zippo.
So, what the heck am I’m doing here?
Well, this is certainly not a new idea for me. I bought a domain name from Register.com in 2009. And, in 2011 I registered a shop on Etsy.com. But, if you went looking for me four or five years ago, a blank webpage would have been all you’d find. Because, I did absolutely nothing, naught, diddly-squat.
Why, you ask?
My usual retort is that I’m a big chicken. But really, it’s been about my self-worth. I battled with myself over what I could possibly contribute to the world that hasn’t already been done better than I could ever hope to do. I worried that anything I posted would either be horribly mundane or incredibly personal. And, who would read it anyway? Who was I to think I had anything of value to offer?
The craziest part is that I’m the cheerleader for anyone else wanting to put themselves and their stuff out there. I tell them everything we create – be it music, art, film, crafts, writing, gardening, thoughts, ideas, advice, natterings, whatever – there is someone out there with whom it will connect. There are ears that want to hear the music, eyes that want to see the art, brains that want new thoughts, ideas and stories. Even if you think you’re not creative, there are people going through whatever it is that you’re gong through and they need to know that they’re not alone.
Great advice, right? But did I follow it myself. Uh, nope.
So, again you ask, why? Why now?
The biggest reason is my awesome boyfriend, Greg. (Thank you Sweetie-pie!)
Greg is the cheerleader for me that I’ve been with everyone else. He gently peeled away all my flimsy excuses and held me accountable for taking action. Without him, this website would probably still be an idea, a wish for someday, a resolution on a to-do list carried forward for another year.
And now, here I am, publishing my very first blog post.
It’s not so scary after all.
Working through the Dark Night of the Soul to emerge as me.
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I suppose I am a born novelist, for the things that I imagine are more vital and vivid to me than the things I remember. ~Ellen Glasgow
*Head over to http://www.inthezenzone.wordpress.com*
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my dreaming butterfly
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